and Solving Furniture Disagreements
Also see:
Page 1: Mars, Venus, and Choosing Furniture and
Page 2: He Likes...She Likes Chart
What's the best way to resolve the differences between what you and your spouse prefer? Experts suggest a variety of methods, but which one works for you will depend on your personalities and the depth of the disagreement. Some of these suggestions should help.
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A compromise desk in an armoire: large scale for him, curved lines and details for her, with room for everything behind closed doors |
Find Common Ground
Try to determine the things you can agree on, then work from there. Look at the chart
on the previous page for areas of harmony. Maybe you both like green colors and pine furniture. Perhaps it's stripes and a nautical theme. Or, it might be a beautiful rug you bought on vacation and the armoire you got for your 5th Anniversary. Start there and see if the other room details fall into place around it.
Merge Your "Likes"
Sometimes it's possible to incorporate some of "his" with some of "her" elements in a room. Mix straight lines (for him) with some curved lines (for her). Buy a sturdy, comfortable sofa he likes, and add floral pillows on it that she likes. Use a color scheme she likes and include a leather chair that he likes. Compromise is key. A family room, for example, might use a plain background, strong architectural lines, dark woods, and bold stripes that appeal to a man. However, it can also incorporate some bright floral fabrics, accessories, and details to appeal to a woman.
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A compromise table: straight sturdy lines for him, a glass top and details for her |
Before you buy anything, sit down with a computer program to try out color combinations, furniture styles, paint color, and flooring.
The See My Design website features a free online tool to help people visualize a finished room and resolve design disagreements. Bill Adams, CEO of SeeMyDesign.com comments that "I originally created this site for this very reason... and my wife and I continue to use the technology while sitting together to try different options. It has helped us compromise on color and avoid the 'It didn't look that ominous on the paint chip' mistake. When we were contemplating painting the window trim in a muted green, we tried it on the computer and realized it looked too stark with white walls. We later settled on a putty gray after viewing different combinations on the computer, and it turned out great."
Adams also suggests formalizing your design plan in words. Fill in the blanks online with the SeeMyDesign Room Planner to focus your ideas into a workable project plan that you email to yourself. He notes that "The email can be saved as text and gives an abstract framework for designing the room. This helps prevent contention because the statement of intent was formalized. It can be thought of as a contract between the two parties."
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A compromise sofa: large leather sofa for him, curved lines and pillows for her |
Divide and Conquer
When space allows, it is sometimes helpful to designate "his" and "hers" areas that each of you can decorate as you please. Perhaps his room is the family room, while her private space is the home office. Each individual will have a private retreat that reflects their personal taste and comfort level.
Hire a Mediator
Hiring an interior designer is another great way to resolve differences. Each spouse should have ample opportunity to express opinions and desires, then it's up to the designer to suggest suitable compromises to incorporate elements that will please both parties. You'll probably be able to avoid serious disagreements and end up with a home that is both functional for him and beautiful for her. Everyone's happy.
Go back to:
Page 2: He Likes...She Likes Chart
or
Page 1: Mars, Venus, and Choosing Furniture
Related Links on About: |
-- Chart of Likes for Men vs. Women |